so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
