I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
