It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
