i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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