Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
