Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
