like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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