Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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