I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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