hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
