Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
