Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
