I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize