"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You're like the curious george of whores
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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