Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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