have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
