why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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