She's JV to your varsity
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
