Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
