yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize