did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
