please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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