Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
