Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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