if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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