I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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