Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
