Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
