So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
