so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
