We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize