I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
