looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
