The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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