Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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