Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize