Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So squirting runs in the family.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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