dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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