I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
