I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
