OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
