She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
