they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
