Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Terrible idea I love it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize