well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
