I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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