I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
im on a boat
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