whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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