Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We are all done wearing pants today
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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