he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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