it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
