Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
