Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
