That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize