you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
