i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
