When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
