my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ok first of all what the fuck
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
