He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize