I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
