this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
