Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
