He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
