Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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