With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
