it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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